Tales of Exodus
by BlueLakeKylie
Summary: Link is ten and he hospitalizes who would've been his first fairy partner. This fairy was replaced by an… unusual fairy named Endy who just can't keep her mouth shut. Link finds out he's a hero, and he's stuck with her as a partner. This crazy fairy defies all logic, definitely has issues, has a very strange past, and is part VAMPIRE, so what could possibly go wrong? EVERYTHING.


**Hello.**

**Back in 2011, or whatever year it was since I can't freaking remember…**

**I wrote a story. But not any regular story. It was a story about Ocarina of Time. But not any regular old Ocarina of Time story, it was a parody. A parody that included a completely insane fairy, not known as Navi. Her name was…**

**… ****Endy.**

**These chapter files were well-hidden, you may say. Well, actually, they weren't hidden, they just happened to be in a strange place. Minecraft. Don't ask why.**

**I decided that I would rewrite the story since the original was a complete piece of crap. I can't just abandon it, Endy is freaking awesome!**

**Just as a fun fact, this story did not have a real title. It was simply known as whatever I felt like calling it.**

**Well… enjoy.**

* * *

**TALES OF EXODUS  
Chapter One: Link has Issues and Endy is Crazy**

"Navi, Navi! Come here!" the Great Deku Tree called. She flew up to him in a flash. "Go, find Link! I need him immediately!"

"Yes sir!" Navi replied, saluting, but of course nobody could see it because she was a glowing ball. "I shall go find Lark immediately, as you ordered!"

"Link," he corrected before she flew away.

Navi zipped into Link's house quickly enough that one might think she could defy space. "Hey, listen!" She began to bounce up and down, calling the same thing over and over while flying around Link's head.

"Shut UP!" Link ordered, punching Navi into a wall. "Can't you respect other people's need of freaking _sleep_?!"

The blue fairy did not respond. Instead, she fell to the ground, which was followed by several fairies flying in and taking her into a miniature fairy ambulance outside.

"Crap, did I just hospitalize a fairy…?" Link wondered, slightly worried that he might have violence issues.

But that worry was shoved aside when another fairy-one with a black light- flew into the room. But not exactly flying, more like spinning in mid air. She paused when she laid her eyes on Link. "YOU!" she yelled, pointing a finger at Link, causing him to jump a little. "… Do you hate Annoying Orange?"

"… Um, yeah…?" he answered slowly, kind of confused.

"Good. That obnoxious citrus fruit really gets on my nerves sometimes. I swear, that laugh of his gives me a headache! By the way, I saw an ambulance drive away a second ago. Was it you that did that?"

"I'M INNOCENT!" Link insisted, burying his face in his hands. "She wouldn't shut up! You've got to believe me!"

"Oh, don't worry!" the strange fairy assured. "I've almost been sent to jail numerous times. More times than I've been sent to jail! And I've been sent to jail just as many times as I've broken out of jail!"

Link stared at her. "… W-what…?"

The fairy went on, "It's not a big deal, though. I've never been sent to jail here before, so the cops aren't after me. So in that case, if I became your partner, we wouldn't need to avoid the police because they're not looking for me."

Link stopped her. "I'm sorry, I'm ridiculously confused right now."

"Oh right, they're aren't any cops here! This is like, medieval times! Anyway, since Navi was hospitalized, the Commander Tree asked me to be your partner just in case something happened to Navi."

"You mean the Great Deku Tree?" Link asked her, trying to push aside all of that confusing information she just spouted out.

The fairy invisibly raised an eyebrow. "Great Deku Tree? That's such a boring name. Speaking of names, my name's Endy! Some people think I'm a really weird fairy because I start sizzling in sunlight and have fangs, but I never really thought it was a problem."

"So, I'd like somebody to explain to me what happened to all the normal fairies!" Link said, getting fed up with her fast talking.

Endy shrugged. "Sorry, the last normal fairy was given to Mido."

"But Mido has had his fairy for as long as I've been alive!"

"Exactly."

Link groaned. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Now rise!" Endy suddenly ordered. "We must see the Commander Tree immediately, for the reason is very, very _RIDICULOUSLY_ important!"

"Wait, the Great Deku Tree needs me for something important?" the boy asked excitedly. "YES! It's me and not Mido! So, what does he need me for?"

"I don't know, I just know it's important!" Link anime fell. "So, we need to get going right now!"

"All right then!" Link said, jumping up. "I forgive the Deku Tree for giving me a crazy fairy if he finds me that important! We leave immediately!"

Link and Endy marched (well, Endy flew) out the door.

"This is a stunt I've been practicing for a while," Link stated. He walked onto the rail of the deck, front-flipped off and landed on his feet.

"Whoa, are you part cat?!" Endy asked him. "I didn't know that there were other people that were scientifically mutated to have other abilities!"

He flipped his hair. "Ladders are too mainstream, so I thought I'd learn how to flip off the deck. It's a good thing hospitalization is free here in Kokiri Forest."

"How many times were you sent to the hospital…?"

"Six times."

"Sweet mother of Nayru, that's insane! You were really determined, weren't you?"

Suddenly, Link's friend Saria walked up to the two of them. "Link, did you finally get a fairy?!" she gasped in surprise. "I thought it would never happen! Now Mido will have one less thing to insult you about!"

"Hiya!" Endy greeted. "I'm Endy, or formally Lady Exodus! It's nice to meet you!"

"I'm Saria, it's nice to meet you, too!" the green-haired girl replied.

"Couldn't you have greeted _me_ normally, Endy?" Link asked, slightly annoyed.

"… No?" the fairy responded. Link sighed and looked at Saria again.

"Saria, see, I'm kind of busy right now," he told her. "The Great Deku Tree called me for some incredibly important reason. And you know how I like feeling important."

"Okay, I understand, but…" Saria started, then eyed Endy. "Is your friend… _sizzling_?"

"OH GODDESSES!" Endy screamed, flying back inside the house, unable to find any reliable shade fast enough.

"So, should I run while I can, or should I go and see if she's okay…?" Link thought, trying to decide in his head. "Eh, she'll be all right." He casually walked in the direction of the Deku Tree.

By the time he reached the path leading to the Deku Tree, Mido jumped in his way. Link groaned and tried to go around him, but Mido kept following him all the way around.

"You need a sword and shield to pass, punk!" the Great Obnoxious Mido told him. "_Heh! He'll never be able to find a sword, since I have the only one with me! My plan has succeeded!_"

While Mido was off in his own world, Link took the sword and shield that Mido had equipped. "Thanks, buddy!" He shoved past Mido and ran into the Deku Tree's meadow.

"HEY!" Mido yelled, unamused. Endy, who was following Link, crashed into him, knocking him to the ground. "_HEY_!"

"Sorry about that, redhead!" the fairy falsely apologized before continuing down the path.

Mido shook his fist. "YOU'LL REGRET THAT!" he insisted.

"NO I WON'T!" Endy yelled back, zooming up to where Link was standing. "I'm here! Did I miss anything?"

"Commander Tree, I am here!" Link said, ignoring her. "What is it that you were asking of me?"

The Deku Tree raised on of his gigantic tree eyebrows. "Link, why is it that you have Endy with you instead of Navi?"

Link froze.

"Oh yeah, funny story…" Endy whispered to Link. "I kinda pretended to be the replacement just so I could have a partner. I don't know what would've happened if I didn't, though!" He twitched.

"What happened to Navi?" the Deku Tree asked again.

Link suddenly began to speak at a ridiculously fast speed. "Mido was standing in front of the entrance to the meadow and Mido didn't want me to get a fairy so he captured her and beat her and then she was taken to the hospital but Endy happened to be nearby and brought me here instead! I swear, it had nothing to do with me!" he explained.

"But I asked Navi's cousin to be the replacement if something like that were to happen," the Deku Tree told him. "Actually, I don't know why I didn't ask him in the first place, considering how annoying Navi is. I guess I was trying to get rid of her."

"So you wouldn't be mad if I told you that I actually punched her into a wall because she was being annoying which sent her to the hospital?"

There was a long pause.

"Ooh, kid's got anger issues," Endy said, breaking the silence.

"Shut up, you knew!" Link hissed.

"You _are_ part cat, aren't you! People don't hiss!" Link face palmed.

"Link…" the Deku Tree started. The said boy looked at the ground. "I know that Navi is very annoying, and your reaction to her obnoxiousness has actually made my choice of bringing you here even more of a good one."

"Wait, what?" Link asked, a bit confused.

"The task I am asking you to complete is to find the spider-like monster inside me that has cursed me and eliminate it."

Link's eyes widened. "Really?! That's so awesome! It's like, a legitimate mission or something!"

"I _told_ you that Commander Tree was a more suitable name!" Endy stated. "Don't you agree?"

"Sure…" Link's eyes trailed off to the small amount of smoke that was rising from her. "I think you're burning again, though."

"OH CRAP!" The fairy quickly zipped into the shadows of a tree, bouncing up and down, trying to make the smoke stop. "This is so annoying sometimes!"

"Are you like, part vampire or something? Fairies aren't supposed to burn in sunlight!"

Endy looked at the ground. "Well… sorta. You don't mind, though, right?"

Link shrugged. "I guess I don't mind…? You talk way too much, though."

The Commander Tree hemmed to get their attention again. "Link, this mission I have assigned to you is an incredibly important one. You must complete it with haste. I'm not sure how you're going to react to this, but Endy is going to be your fairy companion from now on and will accompany you," he explained.

"Whoo-hoo!" Endy cheered. "Adventure! So, what do we do now?"

"Easy," the Deku Tree said. "You must enter through my mouth and go find the spider."

The black-light fairy remained excited. "Wow! I've never done something like _that_ before! Come on Lark, let's go!"

"My name's Link!" the blonde boy corrected her.

"Whatever. It's a good thing you stole that sword and shield from Mido, or else you'd have to go steal it now and leave the Commander Tree's life hanging in the balance! … I think! Now, we depart!"

The Commander Tree's gigantic mouth opened up. Somehow, he was still able to speak clearly, though. "Enter, young warrior! Do not fear, for you are a courageous lad!"

"How does telling me I'm courageous suddenly make me courageous?" Link asked.

"I know that you are courageous because of the many, many tricks you have pulled on Mido. For example, that time when you snuck into his house, hid all of his belongings in your basement that nobody knows about except me, covered the rest of the interior of his house with toilet paper, then put fake evidence that somebody else had done it. Then you put his belongings back while he was distracted by that, covered them also with toilet paper, and put glue on his precious platform."

Link thought for a moment. "Didn't I get in trouble for that…?"

"Yes, but you showed courage because you had the nerve to go that far. Now, quickly! This is a curse I am talking about, you must hurry! How would you like it if you were cursed and the one who might save you was taking absolutely forever?!"

The blonde boy sighed, then drew his weapon. "I'll go, then."

"YAY! Let's go!" Endy said, zipping out from the shade and into the Commander Tree, in attempt to prevent herself from burning again. Link sighed and followed after her.

"Wow," the black-light fairy exclaimed. "I was expecting the insides of a talking tree to be a little less… ancient."

"Maybe the tree itself can't actually talk," Link suggested. "Perhaps it's just that there's some kind of guardian spirit that's making the tree seem like it can talk."

"But the Commander Tree has a face," Endy pointed out. "Regular trees don't have faces, so how could it be a spirit pretending to be a talking tree?"

Link sighed. "How should I know?"

The two of them decided that it would be a good idea to climb up all of the platforms leading to the top on the wall using the conveniently growing vines and the ladder that Link was incredibly confused about for quite some time. There was also a map in a treasure chest about halfway up, which was also quite strange. They stopped when they reached a wall that seemed to have a door on it.

"Hey!" Endy exclaimed. "You can press A to open up this door! It's automatic, isn't that _so_ cool?"

"More like so ridiculous!" Link replied. "How the heck does this tree have all these things in here?!"

Endy thought for a bit. "Maybe there used to be a big group of Dekus living in here. The Commander Tree was okay with it until they decided to build automatic doors, then he told them they needed to move into the Lost Woods."

"Yeah right," the blonde boy said. "You were just babbling about how you got here in the forest a minute ago, and you told me that you just got here last month. What do you know?"

"Ooh, kid's got attitude issues, too," the fairy mocked, grinning.

"Shut up already!" Link growled. He pressed the A button that was beside the door and it opened up. He stopped when he saw what was in the center of the small room. "What the heck is a Deku Scrub doing in here?"

Suddenly, Endy flew up to the Deku Scrub that had hidden himself inside a giant flower-like plant. "HEY, YOU!" she yelled, scaring the creature half to death. The scrub jumped out of the flower in surprise, but that only led to Endy cornering him against the wall. "Tell me, how long have you been living here?"

"I swear, I paid the rent!" the Deku Scrub insisted, shivering like crazy. "Please leave me alone!"

"Why would you need to pay rent to live in a giant tree?! This one is GUILTY!" Endy pointed at scared creature.

"What are you going on about now?" Link said with a sigh. "Just leave that guy alone, we're on a mission here!"

"Oh, right!" Endy bounced up again, but then glared at the Deku Scrub. "But don't think you're off the hook, buddy! I still think you're guilty!"

"Of what?!" Link and the Deku Scrub yelled at the exact same time.

The fairy paused. "… I'm not too sure. I think it was armed robbery." The blonde boy sighed. "Or maybe that was me…?"

"I'm innocent!" the scrub said, burying himself in the flower again. "I didn't do anything wrong, please believe me!"

Link was getting fed up with this situation. He grabbed Endy by the wing, shoved her into his hat and continued into the next room.

"Hey! That wasn't very nice!" Endy told him, flying out and bouncing around.

"I don't want to deal with this crap!" Link shouted at her. "This is serious, I think the Deku Tree will die if we don't do this fast enough! You can't fool around like that!"

"But I wasn't fooling around!" the black-light fairy insisted. "He was guilty of an armed robbery, I'm sure of it!"

Link groaned. "For the love of Nayru, even if there was a robbery, almost all Deku Scrubs look exactly the same! Now let it go, it made no sense anyway!"

"Pshaw!" Endy turned her head. "I eat sense for breakfast!"

MEANWHILE…

"Great Deku Tree!" Mido exclaimed, running into the meadow. "I overheard absolutely everything in that previous conversation! You can count on me to save you from that curse, because you know that good-for-nothing Link won't be able to succeed!"

"Go away," the Commander Tree said in a threatening enough voice to make Mido run like his life depended on it.

BACK IN THE TREE…

"Wow! A treasure chest!" Endy said in awe. "I have no idea how it got here, but you should open it because it might have treasure in it!"

"Oh, so you thought that I _wasn't_ going to open it, so you felt the need to tell me to?" Link snapped.

"No, I was just giving you good advice." The blonde boy face palmed.

"I thought this would be more enjoyable!"

The treasure chest was opened eventually and contained a slingshot. Link still had no idea how it got there, but decided that it would be better if he just went along with it and used it. The rest of their 'mission' was pretty much just solving ridiculously easy puzzles that were also strangely there.

Another Deku Scrub told them they needed to deflect the attacks of a group of three other scrubs that would appear later in a certain order or else they would somehow magically recover. It was simple enough, and it turned out that those three Deku Scrubs that had to be hit in order had been working for the spider-like monster that they were sent to kill.

"You won't get away with this, you evil creatures!" Endy shouted at them, shaking her fist as they escaped.

"Hurry up! We're almost done!" Link told her, grabbing her wing again and running into the next room.

The fairly large room that followed was quite dark, and seemed to have a bit of fog on the bottom. Link looked around for a bit, sure that the monster would pop out somewhere.

"Holy crap!" Endy suddenly screamed, spotting it on the ceiling. The giant arachnid dropped down in front of them, making both of them jump backwards in surprise. "What the hell is that thing?!" She paused. "Oh, sorry bout that, I forgot that you're only ten."

"Sure…?" Link responded, raising an eyebrow. He shook his head. "All right, I have a brilliant plan to kill this thing!" He took out his slingshot and shot the giant eye of the arachnid, stunning it. "I realized over time, Deku Sticks are way stronger than my sword!"

"That's so strange, but it's so cool!" the fairy stated. "You should make a stick that can't break when you use it, and replace your sword with it!"

At that moment, Link jump attacked on the arachnid's stunned eye with a Deku Stick, making the stick break. He followed with stabbing the eye with his sword several times. It wasn't long before the arachnid was defeated.

"Why the eye?" Endy asked. "Is it because it's the only place where there isn't armor on the spider-thing?"

"It seemed like a logical plan," Link answered, sheathing his sword as the arachnid burned away. "I mean, that eye just seemed to be screaming 'I'm the weak point!', with the way it sticks out and glows in the dark, for Nayru's sake."

"Well, we saved the Commander Tree!" Endy said triumphantly. "Let's get out of here and claim our reward, if there is one! And then maybe we can go an another adventure!"

"Yeah, I can't imagine having to live my regular life with you," Link grumbled. "Hopefully it'll tire you out to go on an adventure."

"Ooh, pretty light!" the black-light fairy exclaimed, bouncing up and down while flying towards a strange blue light near them. "I bet it'll warp us out of here! I mean, where else would it go?" But, rather than waiting for Link to say anything, she simply pushed him towards the light. Considering the fact that she was part vampire and all, she obviously had higher strength than a normal fairy.

"All right, I'm going!" Link told her and continued walking. They entered the light and the two of them appeared right back outside in just a few moments.

"You have done well, Link," the Commander Tree said. "You have no idea how many times I had to get Mido to leave me alone. As your reward for saving me, I give you this precious and important stone!"

Link got the Sparkly Stone! It's incredibly important for some reason.

"DA DA DA DAA!" Endy sang, flying around the stone, unaware of the fact that she started sizzling again. "It's so shiny! But what the heck are we supposed to do with it? Maybe we can sell it…"

"NO!" the Commander Tree bellowed, making Link and Endy jump. "Go, take the stone to the princess of Hyrule at the castle outside the forest! It's very important that you do, so don't you even think about selling that! You don't know whose hands it could end up in!"

"Does it have special powers?" Link asked him as Endy zipped into the shadow behind his neck to keep herself from burning.

"I'm afraid not, but that stone is very sacred, so treat it with care!" The Commander Tree paused. "… One more thing, I'm actually going to die anyway, even though you killed the monster."

"W-what?!" Link yelled. "If you were going to die anyway, then couldn't you have given me the stone in the first place?!"

"It was more of a test of courage! If you could kill the evil monster, you would definitely be the one who would go take this to the princess! Now go, as I completely toss aside this ridiculously long speech related to who the bad guy is!" The Commander Tree threw a bunch of papers behind him. "My end is nigh! Quickly, Link, leave before my death is blamed on you…!"

"That would be pretty bad," Endy said. "I got blamed for someone's death once. Actually, that happened a lot! One time it really was my fault, but don't worry. I didn't know what I was actually doing. You know, it would be better if you just forgot everything I just said."

Link was already running, for fear that Mido would start calling him a murderer if he didn't leave fast enough. However, Mido just stopped him in his path when he was on his way back from the meadow.

"Well, well, well!" Mido said like some evil villain running into the hero. "If it isn't Link!"

"Move, Mido!" the blonde boy ordered. "The Great Deku Tree needs medical help, immediately! Go call a tree doctor!"

"What?!" Mido shouted. "This is more serious than I thought it was!" He ran off as Link sighed in relief.

Endy suddenly zipped up to him. "Hey, what happened?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter, we need to get out of here, quick!" Link said, sprinting towards the exit. He was almost out of the forest, when…

"You're leaving?" the familiar green-haired girl asked, who had apparently snuck up behind them. "Did you do something so terrible that you wanted to avoid the consequences… again?"

"No, no!" Link insisted. "This time, I'm trying to get out of here because the Commander Tree… I mean the Great Deku Tree told me to!"

Saria raised an eyebrow. "He kicked you out of the forest?"

"No! He sent me out to do something very important! Look, I don't want Mido making anything up, so I need to hurry and leave!" He took a step backwards.

"Wait!" Link froze. "Take this homemade insturment!" Saria held out a simple wooden ocarina. "I'm sure it will be of use, and it will also help you remember the forest."

Link got the Fairy Ocarina! It doesn't have any special powers, but I guess it sounds nice.

"Now, if you're in that much of a hurry, you should be on your way, right?" Saria asked. "Actually, I think I hear Mido coming now-"

"CRAP!" Link yelled, running out the exit as quickly as he could.

"Hey, wait up!" Endy called, flying after him. Soon the two of them were gone.

"… I'll miss you, Link…" Saria spoke softly.


End file.
